Update on my Life

So first of all, I know it has been longer than forever since my last post but there is a good reason, kind of. I haven't really been doing anything...at all. My life lately has revolved around church related things and hanging out with missionaries, if that doesn't tell you something about how boring my life has become, let me tell you. Usually I go out, party a bit, hang with friends BUT since all my friends decided to leave me, I'm alone. Going out by myself is never fun but here it definitely isn't fun, especially when even when I'm out with people I get harassed and sexually assaulted by gross European men. Now, I though American guys were tools but they look like perfect gentlemen compare to European men.

Now on to the church topic, I have a love hate relationship with church. A very strong one. While I generally do like the feeling of happiness I do get when going, I also have a strong urge that is ingrained into me to be rebellious. I don't like following rules and I like to do my own thing but, as I have realized in the past, that never really works out for me. Ever. It is like when everyone else got the full free agency thing, I only got partial agency. It seems like no matter what I do, or how rebellious I get there is either something in the way of fulfilling said act or ,something goes terribly wrong after I do things I'm not supposed to.With the help of some of the coolest missionaries ever, I have finally come to the decision there is no use fighting anymore, because in the end I'm only hurting myself. Plus I have a ridiculously intense Patriarchal blessing to fulfill ;).

 Speaking of cool missionaries, one of them I am convinced is my twin. We are 99% the same person, the main difference is our genders, it is kind of creepy if I'm being totally honest. It is also somehow satisfying haha.

Slightly church related (mostly because this is the lesson we had on Sunday), Family History! My birth mom has been on a kick recently and it inspired me to want to do more, specifically on my birth dad's side. I was talking to my mom about it and she told me some really cool news, if you are a member of the church you get a free account on ancestry.com! All you need is a family search account that you can link up to it, and if you already have an LDS account then you have a family search account! If not, it is super easy, all you need is your record number! :) So, while doing all this family history stuff I have traced my birth dad's paternal line to the 1600's and everyone was from Norway, like an insane amount of Norwegians in my family! So basically I really am Anna from 'Frozen' ;P.

What else, hmmm well, I only have roughly 2 months left here! It's kind of insane to think that I have been here for 10 months! While I do love it here, I am starting to feel the itch to be back state side. I am mostly ready to start being a full fledged adult and starting at Weber with my best friend! I am also excited for what this next year will have for me, I feel like good things will be coming my way!

 So basically, that's really it, not a lot going on. Mostly me being cold and miserable. Mostly miserable because I despise being cold. So it is just a vicious cycle, really. Anyways, I'll try to be more up to date on these blog posts!

Until next time

<3

Rachel

Why Music is Important for Everyone.

Music is something I have always had in my life, something I have always valued above a lot of things. Without music I don't know what I would do with myself, whether it be singing, attempting to play the guitar, playing the violin or simply just listening to it, I always have music around me. Like right now, writing this post, I am listening to Sam Smith and wondering how someone can have such a perfect voice. My mom always wondered how I could sit there and listen to music while doing homework when honestly, it helped me. When I would go to school the next day for a test, I could sing the song in my head and it would trigger whatever it was I had studied. Or put what I needed to remember to song, to this day the only Scripture Mastery I remember are the two we put to song.

There have been many studies on music and its relation to brain function. In one I was reading earlier, it says that, "In one study, researchers found that musical training at a young age may strengthen the brain, especially regions that influence language skills and executive function."* I personally think that is very very true. My family is very musical and I've had music around me since birth, my mom plays the piano and so does my older sister, my dad listens to really good music (I credit him for my love of classic rock). Consequently my older sister and I seem to have an easier time with learning other languages. Even though my grades in Spanish II and III were less than stellar (I blame that on an incompetent teacher who hated me and was later fired for unsavoury things) I retained a lot. I was able to conjugate quite easily when others were struggling with it. It also helped in choir, my teacher liked to have us sing in MANY different languages some really weird (Estonian) but I always found it not really that hard to pick up the sounds or words. Don't get me wrong though, it doesn't only help with languages, it is also proven that it helps with focus and memory function. It heightens it and makes it easier for the person.

This makes me wonder why music education in school isn't more important to school boards. When there are budget cuts, music is always the first to go which is so sad to me. It was either my senior year or the year after I left the Orchestra program got cut down in size and instead of three orchestra classes, freshman, advanced and concort, there was only advanced and concert. Meaning all the freshman went in with the advanced kids. When I was a senior I was taking Music Theory I but, for reason I can only assume were money problems, they decided to make Music Theory I and II one class. That was rough for both classes because the II kids were bored and the I kids were very very lost with rushed teaching. Nothing against the teacher though because he was a very cool guy and tried his best to accommodate all of us.

Music in schools is also how I got through some of the hardest periods of my life. One of my worst years in my short 22 year history happened when I was in high school, I was 17 and my grandfather died. Now, I'm sure I have mentioned before how close I was to him, he always support me in all things but especially music. He went to every single concert or play I was ever apart of, even the severely painful ones (Once on This Island as preformed by Graham Park Middle School). He always encouraged me to continue on with music and with singing and that will forever stick with me. He died on a Saturday and that next week I had 8 performances with the choir I was in, I only made it to I think 3. With that, I would like to say thank you to Ms. B who understood and didn't penalize me for not going to these performances. After he died I found it really hard to sing but, some of my biggest support getting me through this time was my fellow choir students. I hadn't really realized till then how much I cared about my fellow choir member or needed like minded people until I was in crisis mode. Having that support system is important and I would encourage any of y'all with kids or even people still in school, find something like this. You never know when something hard is going to come up and when you are surrounded by friends, it helps a lot.

Whether I am happy or sad I always know I will have one thing in my life to keep me going, music. Whether it be Mozart, eminem, one direction (usually it's One direction), or Miranda Lambert, I know I will always have music that speaks to me and knows exactly how I'm feeling. Knowing these songs exist, the ones that describe my life perfectly, help me know I'm not the only one going through the problems. That is actually a lot more helpful than you would think. I have a friend who once told me, I don't understand why music is important, it's just a bunch of  noise. Now, although he sounds like an 80 year old man, he is my age and he completely baffled me. Maybe because I was brought up around music and 99% of my friends are musical I had a skewed view of the world. I did not know people like him existed, people who couldn't see the beauty of music at all. Those people need to be fixed and shown the light haha.

Anyways, I will step of my musical soap box in a second, just let me say one more thing. Music is healing and should be in every one's lives. Music has been from the beginning of time and whether or not you enjoy the music of today or not, you should still keep it in your lives.

Until next time

<3

Rachel

*http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/814540

I Think I'm Gonna Lose My Mind...in Germany

Me and Gabriela

On September 1, 2014 I got on a train to Bergamo, Italy where I would be taking a very short airplane ride to Germany! Germany has always been a country I wanted to visit but never thought I would be able to. Anyone who knows me well, knows I am a hug WWII buff and love learning everything I can about it. Not so much the pacific side of the war though, mostly the European side. Sadly, while in Germany I didn't go to any historical sites but not that I know how much I freaking love the place, it just means I have to go back!

I primarily went to Germany to see my friend Gabriela! I met Gabriela when she was Au Pairing here in Italy, like me. She was actually here for only a week when I got here but, we hit it off due to our mutual love of One Direction. This past summer she came back and spent 4 weeks in Italy and so we got to hang out a lot then which obviously made us realize we were soul mates ;). I had some time coming up so I begged her to let me crash at her place and let me see the beautiful country that is Germany!

Frankfurt

The first day was spent in Frankfurt where we did a mini sight seeing tour! I got to see a cool bridge and some amazing architecture but most importantly, went to Primark. Now I had heard of this magical land called Primark from European friends and beauty vloggers but I had never experienced one! This place reminds me a lot of Forever 21 but has better prices (which is amazing since Forever21 is fairly cheap) and has a wider selection. I found jeans that actually fit me and a cute jacket thingy that is light weight but is still warm. Basically I was in shopping heaven, something I haven't experience since I left the states. I am sad though that the USA doesn't have Primark though, maybe someday.

Frankfurt

Gabriela, Me, Brenda

Next we went to Erlangen where I got to meet Brenda! Brenda is a fellow directioner and is overall fabulous and was kind enough to let us crash at her place until we went back to their village. While in Erlangen we watched 'This is Us' while eating Dunkin Donuts and fangirling, it was very therapeutic. On that Friday we packed up our crap and headed to Sandberg, their adorable little Village. Once in Sandberg we had another One Direction night but this time we also included the game Cards Against Humanity which was amazing. Here I met Marie and Monique who completed our little 1D fan girl circle. Fun fact, we all like different boys so no cat fights needed haha.

Monique and I

The next night we all went to a big party/festival/oktoberferst type thing in their village. This was pretty much amazing, like, no really guys. So much fun. They had a cover band playing and it was legitimately the best cover band I have ever heard. Those singers slayed every single song, I was in awe and jamming up front dancing with Monique like a crazy person! The rest of night was just talking in bad Italian to Gabriela and meeting a handful of Germans. I even debated with one girl that Nsync was better than the Backstreet boys haha.

Now I am back in Italy and suffering from post vacation depression, which is why it took so long to write this post. I fell in love with Germany and want to stay there for forever, well maybe not forever but, for an extended period of time. The people are great, the food is delicious and the atmosphere just felt so welcoming, something you don't really feel here in Italy all the time. Anyways, I am glad to be back with my host family and in Italy but I do hope I am able to go back to Germany before my time in Europe is over!

Until Next Time

<3

Rachel

I Love College

College is something I never though I would partake in. It isn't because I didn't think it was useful, I am just not a school kind of girl. I struggled through cosmetology school, granted I had a lot emotionally going on, but if I almost didn't get through that I obviously made the right choice to no go to college, right? Apparently my brain thinks I am wrong because for some reason I applied to a school. I also got into said school and I will be starting in May 2015. The next shocker? It's in Utah! Now, anyone who knows me, knows how much I abhor Utah with all of my being. Right after I graduated high school (literally 2 weeks later) I was shipped to Provo and forced to live out the worst 6 months of my life. I vowed I would never return to that hellish state but here I am subjecting myself to it again. The only thing that makes me feel better about this is that I won't be in Happy Valley, I might have to visit since that's where my Sister and Brother-in-law live and some of my favourite people go to BYU. Plus my best friend is also going to Weber so I will be able to stay semi sane ;).

 

When I go I plan to Major in Business Management and minor in some kind of music related thing. The music is mostly to keep my sanity since Business includes math and well, math and I don't get along very well. Math was almost my downfall in high school, I actually almost didn't graduate but luckily Mr. Cottoms is an amazing tutor. I know, I know I am 22 and JUST starting college but, to be honest, if I had started any earlier I wouldn't have finished and just wasted a bunch of money. I still fully plan on doing hair but I think a degree could also help me in other future endeavours! 

 Right now in Italy, not much is going on but I am going to Germany next week to stay with Gabriela! I am super excited about that and we are going to get up to some shenanigans ;).

Gabriela and I

 

  Also, for those of you who don't know I bit the bullet and posted an original song on YouTube so here is the link for that!

Secrets (Original)

We also celebrated Giovanni's 16th birthday recently at Garda Lake, which was beautiful (even though it rained pretty much all day). He got some gear for his guitar and a yummy cake and then they went to the pool and swam a bit! After, we all played a couple card games and then Gio, Ugo and I headed back to the house while Annamaria, Matteo and Linda (Matteo's friend) stayed at the lake and camped. It was a pretty good time and I think Gio had a good birthday!

 

My ootd (50lbs down)

Until Next Time

<3

Rachel

Marriage

Marriage-

noun

1. (broadly) any of the diverse forms of interpersonal union established in various parts of the world to form a familial bond that is recognized legally, religiously, or socially, granting the participating partners mutual conjugal rights and responsibilities and including, for example, opposite-sex marriage, same-sex marriage, plural marriage, and arranged marriage:

 Marriage is something I naively assumed would happen pretty fast after I graduated high school. Maybe that is my LDS upbringing talking, I guess I just assumed that I would find a good LDS boy immediately and live happily ever after. Four years later I am still single and definitely no where near marriage and I think somewhere subconsciously I feel like a failure about this. I think I have 3 or 4 close friends left who are neither engaged or married, it's like a virus or something, right now.  

At this point in my life I am enjoying what I am doing, I might joke and say I will be forever alone but I really don't want to get married right away. I think at some level I think it would be nice but, there are so many things I want to do and try before I settle down. There also is that small matter that I seem incapable of attracting a man haha. My best friend Sara and I have this thing that we say, 'clearly our personalities suck' because I really don't know what else it could be.

Another thing about my views on marriage that are different from what I was taught at church my entire life is this, I don't care what religion he is. If I love him and he loves me why should it matter? I will say that I am jaded when it comes to LDS guys, I have never had a good experience with then and my worst experience was with a 'good LDS boy' who turned out to be the world's biggest tool. I know for some of y'all reading this that this will be controversial but I just make myself care. I just want to be happy and what if the guy who will do that for me isn't LDS? I should immediately brush him off because he isn't? That just sounds very illogical to me, I want to be happy and so I will be with the person that makes me the happiest. 

I have seen a lot of marriage and divorce and unhappy marriages in my life and I don't want to be part of that. I looked up the divorce rate online and found this, ' PolitiFact.com estimated in 2012 that the lifelong probability of a marriage ending in divorce is 40%–50%'. That is a high percentage and I don't want to become a statistic, so I think I will happily continue being single until I find the one person who I can live the rest of my life with. I want to be like my grandparents and parents who have been together forever through thick and thin. My parents went through a very difficult trial early into their marriage that would have ended weaker relationships but my parents stayed together. I want to have a marriage like my parents, that is what I strive for. 

Until next time

<3

Rachel

Ramblings and Cravings

This weekend I took a much needed break and went north east to a little place called Conegliano! I got to realx, see some castles and some beautiful scenery! I have been having a bit of a hard time lately, the depression has been hitting me hard so this was a nice break. I might also be taking a week off soon and going either somewhere around Italy or even possibly to Germany, which would be super cool for me! I love pretty much everything to do with WWII history so this could be a once in a lifetime chance for me to see things up close and personal!

While I might be having a rough time I am still so glad I am here. The host family I have is more than amazing and I couldn't be any more greatful! This past week my host dad got a job offer so we went out to celebrate at a japanese restaraunt! I am so happy to have asian food back in my life, it was like heaven in my mouth. People keep telling me I shouldn't miss American food because I have realy italian food at my fingertips but, i've had that for 6 months! I miss the food I haven't been able to eat, more specifically I miss Chipotle. I miss it so much, I crave it pretty much every day haha. That will be the first place I go, and then Tropical Smoothie, I need a good smoothie in my life. I always get the same one, I don't think i've tried a different one actually. I go for the Sunrise Sunset because it is life and speaks to me on a deeper level. Fun Fact, the only reason I tried it in the first place wasbecause of the name, It made me think of 'Fiddler on the Roof' so I knew it had to be delicious and man, was I right!

Anywhooo this post wasn't all that exciting but this is my life right now! I'll try and be more interesting next post ;)

Until next time!

<3

Rachel

My Bucket List

I think mostly everyone I know has a 'Bucket List' of sorts, not all of them have it written down but they definitely have a mental one. Sara (my bestest friend) got me inspired to start mine after she wrote hers. So now I will tell the world what my bucket list/dream list is composed of, some of them might seem silly but if you know me at all, I am kind of a weirdo. ;) Also, this list is a work in progress, I will probably add on to this as the years go by!

1. Volunteer in an Orphanage
2. Learn to speak Spanish fluently
3. Go to England
4. Write a book
5. Write an entire album worth of songs
6. Record said album
7. Become the voice of a Disney Princess
8. Get my bachelor's degree
9. Go to Australia
10. Go on a safari in Africa
11. Learn Guitar
12. Learn Piano (mom, help!)
13. Live in NYC for at least a little while
14. Build my parentals a house
15. Go to a music festival (or multiple)
16. Preform for a big crowd
17. Have my own clothing line
18. Adopt/foster children (older ones not babies)
19. Be on the Amazing Race with my bestest friend
20. Meet the cast of the Hunger Games
21. Meet the cast of Harry Potter

So that so far is my list, nothing super exciting and I know what y'all are thinking, 'be a Disney princess voice? Really Rachel?'. Seriously, yes. That has been my dream since I was little, will it ever happen? Probably not, but, I am a big believer in having dreams.

Until next time!
<3
Rachel